Your capacity to control impulses is the essence of emotional self-regulation, of the ability to defer compensation in order to achieve an objective, for example, for anything from writing a book to winning a sport competition. Another example, in the case of children, would be the constant academic effort during the course of a school year, which is finally compensated by means of a given reward. Delaying gratification, controlling our states of mind in order to help, rather than hinder, our thinking, being able to grow, motivating ourselves to keep on trying again and again when we are faced with adverse situations speak in favor of the power of well-focused negotiations, for we are ultimately negotiating with ourselves: do we face a problem or avoid it, work or rest, watch television or talk to a friend? In ancient Greek, this concept was called sophrosyne, which means care and intelligence in conducting one's life; a tempered balance and wisdom. The ancient Romans and the Church called it temperantia, that is, the restraint of emotional excesses. Since we are talking about temperance, it is the right moment to introduce a reflection which is presently worth approaching, since debates on virtues are no longer in style. We have, in fact, adopted new terminology and now refer to them as values, which are criteria for taking decisions. The classics referred to virtues as criteria to take decisions regarding human behavior; some classics said that to develop virtue is to practice virtuous acts and, as we train to perform virtuous acts, we develop a virtuous conduct. At present, and from the emotional intelligence point of view, our proposal is the same: it is to train our conduct until we are able to control our impulses, and adjust ourselves to what is right, useful and effective. From this standpoint, training our amygdala would be to develop virtues.
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